…if I agree, then what?

Watching and listening to an interaction between my daughter and her toddler about to be three-year-old son about the potty. He refused to agree with her in a way that she could hear audibly or with any enthusiasm as if he really meant it. 

She asked him to tell her or grandma when is was time “to stop! and go potty right away”! This amazingly smart kid can articulate sentences like he was born talking, even at two his sentences are clear and mostly understandable.

This kid can be as loud as any almost three-year-old! She promises that to not “stop, and go potty right away, may result in receiving a “pop” on the legs. Which he calls “poppy-leg!”yep, in this house, it’s what he calls it. She clearly and lovingly explains it is the consequences for not going to the potty for number two. 

My daughter is not a “spanking” mom and it is not easy for her to even give a little pop with her hand on the thigh or bottom if he fails to tell someone. We are all in the process, the cousin, the auntie, everyone wants to see this wonderful kid be successful in navigating the potty journey. 

Its frustrating for his mom to continouly change a pull-up full of poo no matter how cute he is. This also will qualify him to go to pre-school and he talks about going to school every day and wears his back pack so he will be ready. 

The observation from my perspective is this; if the toddler does not agree to the conquences; in his little world, its all good and nothing will happen. This is a loving, kissy face hugger who adores his momma. She is a loving parent doing her best to be even tempered and really does not want to punish him. 

They talk alot about everything, which is probably why he talks so clearly an really knows what to say mostly. I mean “he is sitll learning language and still mastering what everything means.  Yet, clearly he understands that something will happen.

He says “okay mommy” so softly that she ask him several times if he understood what would happen if he “pooped” in his pants. This loving child would not “audibly” answer in agreement. It was a little funny that he was smart to “not” really agree and go really soft almost silent as if he knew that he was not really agreeing with her.  So that in my observation of this conversation from his perspective meant, “nothing would happen. 

As adults, we make verbal agreements all the time, with intent and also mindlessly. At the age of two it seems that children can determine conquences and consciously say yes but really mean no. How purposeful are we in our real intentions?

Do we say yes and really mean no?… What happens when we agree to consquences that we hope we never have to face?  Even a two year seems to understand the meaning of saying “yes, I agree or I understand” is serious.  We all frequently act like we are in full agreement with inaudibly, silently saying yes and hoping there are no “real” consequences.